The latest greatest idea I've seen is 'Dear So & So' from the blog 3 Bedroom Bungalow pretty much every Friday she (and lots of her friends) write letters and let their inner evil out...I wanna play! Yeah I know its Tuesday but I'm a rebel that way and honestly with the preggo brain problems I have I'll forget on Friday =0) forgive me if its long I have a lot to get out- so here we go!
Go away, thank you. I've had enough! You were pretty at first but after a week of being snowed in I'm over it. I see that you want to visit again tomorrow and I'd really like to cancel our date. You also tend to over excite the weathermen, then in turn inturupt my beloved 'stories' hour's before you are due to arrive to let me know just how bad you are going to be to my plans and when you will get here...go bother someone else!
The Cold Preggo
Dear Third Trimester,
Please be kind, I'm a woman on the verge of madness, I can't take much more. I really would like that nesting instinct to kick in and while your at it, a burst of energy to go along with it would be great! My house is in a sad state and that darn maid hasn't show up yet!
The Tired Preggo
Dear City of Konawa,
Bite me! Fix your water and sewer plants! I'm sick of you raising your rates with no improvements in site. I should not have to boil my water before drinking it once a month or more- and really have you seen the white junk in the bottom of the pan when you boil it? I'm so not drinking or cleaning with that! Oh yesterday when I finally got around to bleaching the tub and tub toys was it really the time to start backing up water in my tub, toilet and floor? Really I could have done with out cleaning it all twice. Oh and that cute game we played at 1:00 am this morning when the water again backed up in the toilet and the tub and then overflowed the toilet soaking my bathroom floor- you win, I give- no rematch pretty please?
The Preggo in Soggy Socks
The first think you say to me when you get home should not be " You look terrible!"
Dude I know it, I feel it, lie to me. I'm suppose to be glowing dang it. I'd also look alot better if I you did the dishes you promised to do two days ago. Just sayin'.
The Preggo on the Couch
Dear Sweet Baby,
Mommy loves you! Why do you hate her? That thing you like to kick that's my bladder. I'd really appreciate you not doing that anymore. It never did anything to you. Oh and I know I'm always late but I'd really appreciate it if you'd be on time okay? A little early would be great as well! Oh and one more thing if you could come out with a name tag on with what you'd like to be called I'd be really grateful!
The Mommy Preggo Running to the Bathroom
Dear Everyone Who Wants to Know The Babies Name,
I'm not tellin'! You can't make me, you can suffer for the next 7 weeks...okay so not really. I'm not tellin' because I have no idea, mainly. We are kicking around three names, and I'm going to have to look and her before I choose, I work best under pressure- I need a deadline.
Also I'd really like it if everyone could keep their thoughts on my names to themselves, telling me how much you dislike a name makes me cranky no matter who you are- and more likely to use it just 'cause you don't want me too. Most of you have had your children already this one is mine, I've earned it, I'll name her whatever I like. If you don't like it, well I really don't care I'm not asking your permission or for your approval I'm just letting you know!
:::I mean that in the most loving way a hormonal woman can:::
After a few wonderful previews of names early on and your reactions you will all find out after I have her, I figure its harder to tell me how much you hate her name if I'm holding her at the time...should you still feel the need to make unhelpful comments you will find yourself at the end of the visitation list...oh and food for thought I really don't care who you knew with that name that you disliked, if you think it sounds like (insert phrase of your choice- an old lady, a stripper, a cemetery, a nut house, a boys name, etc) if you think it flows, or if you think you have a better name for her....you don't, I'm cranky please don't push me or I may rename you ::insert evil laugh here:: The only appropriate reaction is "what a lovely name" even if you don't agree just go with it.
The Preggo that has read every baby name book ever written....
You suck, I do not need to practice what it will be like to have sleepless nights. I'll have a newborn soon, she'll take care of all that promise!
The Tired Preggo
Thank you all for reading I feel so much better!